her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
