where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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