Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
