Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize