i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
