i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i believe in u and ur pee
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
