I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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