Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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