i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
