you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
