I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
