garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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