Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
