Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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