I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
