so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I deserve this hangover.
The ass gains better be worth it
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