I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
