just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
