my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
