I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
they need to just BURY HIM!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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