Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
