suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
