He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I love how my cats smell like pot.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
