yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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