Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize