Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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