I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I could make wine with my vomit
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
