ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Randomize
