I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
you never un-have a 4some
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
