Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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