STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
