i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
