She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
