she looked like the bat from fern gully.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
