At least make sure they are 18
Why
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
