She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
