you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize