you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
