You're my little dorito
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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