new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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