i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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