I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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