remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
