Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
