Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
