i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
