I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
