I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
