i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
