Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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