Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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