Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
