Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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