I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
