Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
home. puking in laundry basket.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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