hotel room ftw
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize