that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
