Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
