I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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