I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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