I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
