He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
