I am in a vortex of obligation.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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