Your tits are I can't wait for
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
