Can Purell be used as lube?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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