piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
