you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i dont even know how to be here
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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