I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
