Have you finally orgasmed yet?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
