I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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