you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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