Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
